Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE
I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo
I mean it’s a goddamn hat.
The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-
Ontological Analysis of the Common Fedora
Missive of Purpose: To observe and predict the behavior of the common fedora through naturalized observation. All records kept by experimenter, abbr. as TC throughout.
Day 1, 08/20/2008:
Experimenter TC sat in the opposite corner of the room in a wheeled chair, observing the fedora across the room from a distance of 10m, with an error of 2m from a period 700 hours until 2300 hours, during which time, experimenter TC took measurements of the fedora at start and end of the observation period. The readings are as follows:
-11” front brim to back
-9” inches in width
-Inner rim 6” w x 8” L
Overall, there was no noticeable change in neither environment, fedora, nor experimenter
Day 4, 08/23/2008:
No change in observable results, save for experimenter TC mentioning a mild scent permeating the room. No change in hat spatial measurements. Experimenter TC complains of mild irritation. Suggested reasons include the sedentary nature of the experiment.
Day 7, 08/26/2008:
Measurements of Fedora
-10.89” front to back
-inner rim 6.14” w x 8.34” L
Experimenter TC complains of dreams related to the fedora. Experimenter TC complains of irritation behind the eyes. TC reports TC rep
Day 10, 08/29/2008
This is TC i have abandoned all pretext of experiment.
I think something’s happening to me. Sometimes I blink and I’m holding the fedora in my hands. This morning I woke up wearing it. When I take it off, my hands and fingertips are sticky with a viscous blue fluid which runs down my face. It’s changing size too, some days it’s as wide as 10.75 inches, some days the inner rim is as narrow as 4.7 inches, sometimes it’s on my head when it shrinks.
—- I’m tired, I want to leave but when I try to my legs give out. Sometimes days go by in a snap, like-
—I just fall asleep for a minu
—te It’s feeding me now, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it’s like my mom’s feeding me again. The hurt alone is worsened by how alone I feel.
I am no longer a fool. There cannot conceivably be a god to allow such loneliness even my entir—
e life. I deserve better I deserve someone who loves me for who I am I deserve so
Day 17, 08/20/2008
Day 25 08/20/2008
Day 37 08/20/2008
YOu have to tell them I can feel me slipping I can feel me on the edge of a long dark fall and I don’t know what kind of time left I have I see it everywhere, I feel things that its putting in to me I can see me slipping and im going to fall techT͂̑̎̅E͂͑ͬ̍͑̓C̿̏̊̍̆ͭ̽͞H̊͂ͪ͝N̎ÎͫC̴ͫ̽̓Ȧ̸̒̆ͣL̀L̎Ÿ́ ̾ͦͨ̐Ǐ̑Tͮ͒̓’̆̉Sͨ̑ͭ̄͂͒ ͧ̚҉A̒ͫ͑ͯͨ̂ͬ͞ ͨ̆̓ͭͩͪ̂Tͮ̓̊̈́̾͡R̸I̶̒̇͗ͩͫL̑̀̉LB́Y ̶̽̋ͨyou have to Tell them what my name was I don’t want to change only being known as TC you have to tell them my name you have to tell them all who I was my name is
Day 51 08/20/2008
Day 51 088/20/20088
I am eu̡ͨ̆̈́p̢h͐̀oͨͪ͂̐ͤ̑řͯ͒̂̋i͛̉͐́̓̑̔ĉ̏̓ͯ̋́͗̀
HERB and squeek
Running my first call of cthuitloop 2nite
I did not run a very good call of cthulhu